As of Saturday the 2019 Eurovision Song Contest season has officially begun. Lisbon’s sun, sea and Super Bock are nought but a distant memory. We may not yet have a date, a host city or well… anything, but that hasn’t stopped the landmark date of September 1st coming and going. Any song under three minutes long released from now on may well be our winner come next May. So before the madness gets well and truly underway I present to you my wishlist for what’s to come…

  • MEH-LFEST, PLEASE REMEMBER WOMEN EXIST! It takes six weeks, four heats, an Andra Chansen and a final and the Swedes send a pretty boy. Again. Sweden have artists like Wiktoria, Ace Wilder & Lisa Ajax on the bench and yet every year we get the same bland bloke. About time these giants of the Contest mix it up. A female soloist hasn’t done too badly for them in the last decade, after all. Loreen claimed the crown, Sanna got on the podium and Anna Bergendahl…well two out of three ain’t bad.
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Time for Sweden to play their Ace.
  • DOUBLE DOSE OF DRAMA! Let’s face it, there’s not an awful lot to do in the winter. It’s hardly surprising that hundreds and thousands of us spend the months multiscreening the Continent’s various goings on. Last year like we were treated to a real humdinger of a season. Andriy trashing Tayanna in Ukraine, the Greek national internal final selection disquali-fest and whatever the hell happened in Belarus. Let’s just hope 2019 can deliver more of the same.
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Who will be 2019’s “Tayanna’s shouting manager”
  • SURIE GETS ANOTHER GO. Let’s be honest SuRie never got a fair crack of the whip last time round. If anyone truly deserves a place on the Israeli stage it’s our lass. The BBC need to hand over full creative control and let SuRie do an Anouk. Look at how dreadfully the Netherlands were doing until she came along. The Beeb should trust their 2018 singer to do the same. They won’t. But a boy can dream.
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Nothing but respect for my UK Eurovision 2019 singer.
  • Speaking of the Netherlands, BRING BACK ILSE DE LANGE. I wouldn’t mind seeing everyone’s favourite Common Linnet return to the stage, however, it’d be pretty sweet to see her as a spokesperson too. Over the last few years the previous year’s Dutch representative has then gone on to read their scores. In 2019 I’d much rather see Ilse pop up with their 12 than the man who takes the _o___ry and western out of country and western.
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Ah, that’s better.
  • AZERBAIJAN, ARMENIA, GREECE, RUSSIA…GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER! These normally nailed on qualifiers have all dipped in form of late. It’s frustrating when we all know just how great they can be. We know the heights these four can reach when they’re not sending criminally dull songs or uncomfortably exploiting their singer to creative an anti-Western narrative. I’ll leave you to figure out who I mean by that…
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More of this please team.
  • AN AUSTRALIAN VICTORY. Imagine this. Australia win, they choose to pair up with SVT. We end up with a hosting pair of Petra Mede and Julia Morris. Ultimate Eurovision hosting team achieved. Namaste!
  • MONEY MONEY MONEY! My final wish is purely personal…if anyone has a spare few grand knocking about I’d really appreciate it. Although there are other reasons at play the long and the short of it is that I can’t afford to travel to Tel A…Jerusa…Israel in May. I’ll keep up the blog throughout the season but sadly there’ll be no coverage on the ground from me this time round. I’ll just be saving me pennies for Glasgow 2020. As I said earlier, a boy can dream.

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