Does what it says on the tin, this one. Here follows 30 predictions of things that will happen in the world of Eurovision over the next ten years:
- Italy will win again. They really should’ve done it by now, it’s only a matter of time.
- And they’ll finish in the top ten more often than they won’t. They’ve already achieved that this decade, no reason they won’t keep it up.
- Sweden will not win. Unless there’s any big changes afoot Sweden will continue sending competent pop that’ll achieve reliable results. But not a win.
- There’ll be at least two first time winners. Australia, Cyprus, Malta, Bulgaria, Poland, Slovenia, Moldova, Georgia…plenty of potential new countries to visit.
- As well two first time winners we’ll have two first time entrants. Kazakhstan, Kosovo, a guest entrant…”we’re a big black hole sucking in all the stars, that’s Eurovision.”
- The United Kingdom will finish on the left hand side of the leaderboard at least once. Less a prediction, more wishing it into existence.
Australia & Ukraine will NQ at some point. Given 100% qualification records have been tumbling like dominoes of late, the same fate will eventually fall their way.
With the exception of Italy no other automatic qualifiers will win the Contest.
There’s going to be a burning hot ball of charisma wandering the halls of the NRK offices.
- Mr. Lordi will pop up at some point in some capacity. He loves a bit of Contest fun.
Eleni Foureira will pop up at some point in some capacity. She loves a bit of Contest fun.
Alexander Rybak will in no way pop up in any capacity. I think he’s probably made his peace with it all.
Nadav Guedj will turn 18 at some point.
Valentina Monetta will become the artist to have entered on most occasions. Her record breaking effort will be a duet with Serhat.
Rylan Clark-Neal will replace Graham Norton as the main UK commentator.
A band will win.
In 2027 a continent wide referendum will pass a law erasing Running Scared from the record books. I Feed You My Love will be chosen as replacement and all will be well with the world.
Every single Eurofan will own one of these bad boys, perfecting kitchens everywhere.
- Hungary & Montenegro will return.
Turkey will not.
- Loreen will win every edition of the ESC Top 250. Actually, that’s not just the decade, that’s a
centurymillenium long prediction.
- Some kind of online voting element will be introduced.
- It will, of course, be hacked.
- Jedward will return to the Contest early in the decade. They will provide Ireland’s best result since…themselves.
- The scoring system / presentation will become increasingly convoluted. The final straw will be the introduction of the wicked wango card in 2026.
- One year there will be another national beer as sponsor. All those in and around the Contest will rejoice. There will still be a 50 minute queue for the bar in the arena.
- We haven’t seen the last of this bloke…
- I’ll eventually get round to buying the board game.
- Eurovision Asia will remain permanently in the planning phase. Technology to enable flight for pigs will develop at a faster rate.
One year every fan favourite will qualify for the main Contest; everyone will agree on the eventual winner; there will be no controversies and the host country will be in no way problematic.
Say what you like, still more likely than Asiavision