I have never seen the Junior Eurovision Song Contest. This Sunday will see the Contest’s 15th iteration and I am yet sit down and watch one from start to end. The more I thought about it the more I realised I don’t think I could recall a single song from the past 14 years of JESC. The full extent of my exposure is when the winner pops up to awkwardly promote Junior in that lull during the voting of the main Contest. The fleeting glimpse never sufficiently grabbed my attention and made me watch in November though. But why?

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Actually, to be fair Miriam made a better host than old…er…him

It may be something of a simplification but I’m not likely to watch it if it hasn’t been on British TV for over a decade. With a lack of host broadcaster in the UK since 2005 there has been no way of watching it on the old fashioned ‘proper telly’. Of course in that same period the inexorable rise of streaming services means that this really shouldn’t be an excuse. However, the dearth of coverage in the UK must surely play a part.

Growing up with the main Contest it always felt like it had a significant presence on the BBC. The debate over the effort put into the participation at Eurovision can, has and will rage on but the level of coverage from the BBC has always been hard to miss. Every year it feels like a big live television event akin to a major sporting contest or a reality TV show final. The Eurovision Song Contest is basically the Bake Off final for musical coeliacs.

Compare this with Junior of which I have absolutely no memory of ever seeing when ITV covered it. I was 13 at the time of the first Junior Contest, a similar age to the majority of the performers and yet no recollection of any promotion or broadcast. No link up with up with CITV, no real push to get kids my age watching it, no real effort made. If you’re trying to attract a younger audience with Mark Durden-Smith and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson as commentators then surely ITV were just setting themselves up to fail

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Sure. They’ll appeal to the ‘yoof’.

There is something to be said that whenever any competition has a ‘junior’ element the implication is that the competitors aren’t at their peak. These are highly talented young performers still honing their skill and maturing into their voice. Outwith ESC I have a few other obsessions (I know, the horror!). Formula 1 has been a love of mine for as long as Eurovision. I pour over every practice and qualifying session and watch every race with multiple screens of data. However, the junior formulae on the way up to F1 may come into my field of interest occasionally for a fleeting race or two every year. Never would I go out of my way to watch it. I also have a keen interest in track cycling having volunteered at an international event in Glasgow just after London 2012. When the Junior World Championship came to the same venue a few years later, I didn’t even go as a spectator, never mind volunteer.

Whilst JESC isn’t exactly used as a feeder to the Senior version (O’3GNE & Tolmachevys excluded) like motorsport or cycling there still seems to be something within me that can’t take an interest in very talented, hard working young people doing something amazingly well. Perhaps jealousy plays a greater part than I first assumed. It may sound harsh but I just can’t muster the enthusiasm for the junior competitors that I do for their senior counterparts.

Pupils at the School of Eurovision

Probably the most important factor is there’s just something about child performers I find inherently uncomfortable. This maybe as a result of years of the mawkish ‘end of the pier’, Britain’s Got Talent parading out cutesy little girls and boys performing saccharin sweet songs. On occasion the BBC decides that as part of group routine or for a special programme Strictly will have kids take to the floor. Seeing children as young as primary school age dressed in full dance regalia looking like mini adults is excruciatingly creepy to highest degree. 

Whilst I’m aware that JESC is far more sophisticated than this I’m afraid this is what comes to mind when one thinks of child performers. Even if that in itself is not enough to dissuade me from young performers it’s also knowing the pushy parents will be lurking in the wings. I’m sure this isn’t the case for every mini singer, actor or dancer but whenever I see one all I can think of is the excellent League of Gentleman sketch involving the hideously overbearing parents entering their young daughter into a beauty pageant. If there’s one thing worse the precocious kids it’s the ghastly parents behind them. 

This year though I shall attempt to cast aside my negativity and throw myself wholeheartedly into the Contest. I want to enjoy it, after all it gives a little Eurovision fix when we’re still a month or two away from National Final Season. Whether I will actually enjoy it though, remains to be seen.

4 thoughts on “The Kids Are Alright. Or Are They?

  1. Nice article there – you are going to do something I will never do – watch any part of a JESC. In my blog I normally flag that up but I think that my readers are already aware that “Let Me Be The One” is a JESC free zone!

    I am 50 and I lived through “There’s No One Quite Like Grandma” – being 13 at the time meant I had no love at all for Year 3 kids singing a hideously cynical song aimed at grandparents and parents (in my eyes), at a time where they kept John Lennon and Jona Lewie off the number 1 spot. That killed any resemblance of calm I had for children singing and it persists to this day.

    I also would feel very uneasy being at a Contest full of children and young teens at my age – recent events in the UK have really killed any chance that JESC might have had of being shown on any UK tv channel, in my opinion. There is a market for it in other parts of Europe but the vast majority of UK fans that I know will have nothing to do with it.

    There’s enough going on in the run up to the ‘adult show’ for me to write about but I hope that you have at least a decent show to watch!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had never even thought of the recent goings on in the UK Television industry affecting JESC in this country. Whatever slim chance it may have had seems stone dead. Seems odd though that ITV have decided to embrace ‘The Voice Kids’ and not then had a go at JESC, it would seem like the obvious option.

      Thanks Martin, I’m hoping I can ‘catch the bug’ for want of a better phrase. I’m not too sure though.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If all the acts were like Destiny from Malta then I could see it being a sort of springboard to the adult version but from the little about JESC I pick up, it does come across like a musical pageant, as you alluded to…

        It does mean that I can flick through a lot of the Eurovision news website content very rapidly at the moment!

        Liked by 1 person

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