So it’s now been over a week since Salvador conquered all and took the Eurovision crown for 2017. This time last week people were hurriedly crunching the numbers after the EBU had released the full voting for all shows. By now they were looking for voting patterns, figuring out how Portugal won so dominantly and how Finland & Estonia fell flat and failed to qualify. However, after some longer reflection and digging a little further into the stats these are the numbers that really matter to the 2017 Contest.

13 – Silly Salvador or Sincere Salvador?

You know the drill. You’re sitting there in the green room. You’ve sang your heart out for your country and another nation has seen fit to award your performance the full 12 points. You follow the normal rule: stand up, cheer, mouth thankyou down the camera and sit down chuffed with your efforts. Unless you’re the lead singer of a Friend in London in which case…well…it’s a thankyou of sorts.

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However our dear winner this year struggled with what to do when the cameras panned to him. We’d seen this during the semis when the Sobrals would either be pulling silly faces or have bowls on their heads during the voting recap. For the final itself Portugal received a total of 18 full jury scores. On 13 of these occasions he would be pulling a face, doing something daft or mouthing something down the camera. On the other five he’d just look awkwardly humble, not quite knowing where to fix his gaze. No matter which he chose it only made him all the more loveable.

1495365202353
Not all heroes wear capes.

Another number to take note of from the voting sequence would be 6. Of the 30 female spokespersons delivering the jury points our erstwhile hosts Alex & Vulva (I think?) flirted with 6 of them, making it a total of 20% flirtatious. To be fair some of those reading the votes such as Katrina, Barbara & Lee may be a little too mature for our boys but they did well with a number of the younger females. They didn’t flirt with any males though. That’s not exactly celebrating diversity now is it. Though they did call Douwe Bob’s dog ‘beautiful’, maybe that’s a little too diverse.

8 – Anja’s Wardrobe

Right. Anja. We get it. You have clothes other than the red dress. Up until first rehearsals in Kyiv we’d never seen Anja in anything other than that red dress. She wore it on Dansk MGP. She wore it at the Preview Parties. She wore it to the shops, she wore it doing the dishes, she wore it in the shower. She likes the red dress. Thankfully she got it back in time for the Contest itself because the alternative was bloody awful. Anja’s postcard was, however, an ode to her alternative outfits. We saw a total of eight different get ups in a short space of time. It was 30 seconds of the Ozzie basically saying “look, look, I own other clothes. Lots of clothes!”

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17790 – Levina’s Air Miles

Much was made of Levina’s promotional tour for ‘Perfect Life’ which took in a total of 10 cities across the continent. It got me thinking exactly how far she went to try and pick up some votes. Now, one has to make a number of assumptions here. One would assume Levina would’ve travelled direct from city to city on some occasions and returned home before hitting the next one for others. However, for the purpose of this I’m considering the miles flown as if she had returned home after each event. This also assumes it was the capital city she flew to for each country visited. So if you factor in these considerations the German’s miles travelled looks like this:

City Visited Miles Travelled (From & To Berlin)
Tirana 1660
London 1158
Yerevan 3386
Budapest 856
Vienna 652
Skopje 1636
Ljubljana 900
Amsterdam 718
Jerusalem 3546
Tblisi 3278
Total 17790

Levina visitied 10 cities racking up a massive 17790 miles flown desperately trying to hoover up some points for ‘Perfect Life’. So having flown all that way how many points did these countries give Germany? 0. None. Nil. Nada. 3 of Germany’s 6 points came from the Swiss televote, the other 3 from the Irish jury. Neither of which Levina actually visited. So was it all worth it ARD? No, of course it bloody wasn’t. Conversely Salvador, of course, didn’t do any promo tour. It’s almost like it’s the song that matters most or something.

17 – All That Youth!

Much was made of our three teenagers this year (actually four when you count 18 year old Ilinca as well) but it was an incredibly youthful show overall. The average age of the competitors (whose age is known) was 27 and a half. This just so happens to the age of…Salvador Sobral. Probably the only conceivable way in which he could be considered average!

Contrast that to 2012 when of course we had a much older Contest. We had our babushkas from Russia and Dingelbert for the UK swaying the averages a little further North. When you compare the two years this is how they stack up:

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You do indeed have to add Demy, Blanche, Isaiah & Kris to equal one Dinglebert. However if you go one step further you find…

Buranovskiye Babushki (combined age 408) =

Kris + Isaiah  + Blanche + Ilinca + Brendan + Manel + ALL OF O’G3NE + Jana + BOTH OF NAVIBAND + Nathan + Alex  + Levina + Imri + Lucie + Jacques (just one of the Jacques though) 

Yup, 15 different act’s ages added together gets you one full set of Russian Grannies. I wanted to do a similar visual cue to the previous one but the photo collage software I use couldn’t handle 15 separate pictures all in one!

There you have it. OK, so it wasn’t exactly a hard analysis of the points. I’ll throw in one quickie just for those who like their stats. Having scored 758 points Portugal secured 77.03% of the total available to them. On the flip side Manel and his faltering high notes managed to acquire 0.005%. Still…better than nul percent!

In amongst the jury points, televotes and phone numbers you’ve now seen some of the numbers that really mattered for this year’s Eurovision. Flirty hosts, goofy winners, well travelled Germans and all manner of ages represented. So many numerical reasons to love Eurovision.

2 thoughts on “Silly Faces, Wasted Air Miles & A Full Wardrobe: Eurovision 2017 by Numbers

  1. Hi, don’t want to spoil your calculations but Levina is currently studying at the London School of Music and spends 50% of her time in London. At the very least, I suspect that she crashed at her London place before travelling onto the next promo Party 🙂
    And Anja looks amazing in whatever she wears… 😉

    Like

    1. I know, I know. And I’m pretty sure a lot of artists went straight from London to Tel Aviv so I was kinda taking liberties.

      And I don’t disagree about Anja, not in the slightest! 😉

      Like

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